The theme for this week’s lesson is Need. There is an illusion that we all buy into, naturally, because of fear. The Illusion* is that we need to be something we are not.
* I have capitalized the “I” in Illusion due to the fact that the Illusion I speak of is not any mere illusion. I speak directly to the “Grand Illusion”. i.e. the Matrix.
What an amazing thing – need.
Let’s look at that again:
The Illusion is that we NEED something WE ARE NOT.
I am going to examine this using myself as a source, as I am the most available candidate at this time. That being said the sentence now changes to be:
The Illusion is that I need something I am not.
What could I need that I am not? Let’s look at everything I am first and see what is lacking.
The roles I fill in the overall spectrum of who I am as Patrick Yurick are: a Man, a human, a boyfriend, a son, a brother, a teacher, an employee, an advisor, a friend, a part-time aikidoist, and a student.
I am not however all those things at once. Right now for instance I am a boyfriend who is typing on his computer in his apartment. The physical things I am are I am dressed, I am tired, I have a light headache, my eyes are somewhat sore, my fingers hurt from practicing my guitar, I am sitting, I am breathing, my mouth is sticky with saliva, and tastes a little bitter because I haven’t brushed my teeth, and my hair is poofy and bothering me because I usually don’t let it grow out this long.
So what could I possibly be lacking? I have a headache so it might be nice if my head felt better. I feel weak so it might be nice to exercise. I could brush my teeth. I could get a haircut, write a comic book, read a novel, go for a walk, plan my week out. I could do all of those things.
But: They are all things that I could do that I am not doing.
They are not things that I need to do.
So the question that comes from the sentence “I need something I am not” is:
What do I need?
How do I determine that when all the answers I have available to me are my “wants” and “coulds”? What is a need? My friend Phil and I have been talking at length recently about Laws and Theories. A Law is inflexible. Phil defines it a little better than I do:
“…A Law is a “what” of the universe (e.g. things fall down) and a Theory is a “why” of the universe (e.g. Space Time Curvature)” – Phil Wagner, Feb. 19th
So that implies that a Law is guaranteed, inflexible. Is a Need a Law? Let’s find the definition of need. Basically “Need” is defined as something that is wanted or necessary. (Oxford American dictionary) I would like to make a stance on this for my own sanity and define Need as the moment before an inevitable occurrence. Such as “the apple needed to fall down”. In fact this is an interesting concept because the word Need seems to imply that an inevitability, a law, is within control.
This is the Illusion. When I use the term need, as it was modeled and defined to me upon my upbringing, I have always equated “need” to “want” and “necessary”. Need is paradoxical in this way. A “want” has always been defined to me as being within my control. Desire, or want, is to be suppressed, acted upon, or analyzed. Which means that everything in which I do “want” is expected to be within my control. “Necessary”.
… interrupted by conversation …. ok now I can start writing again …
In doing this I have concluded that The Illusion has it’s base in reality, much like the black portion of the “Yin-Yang” symbol is part of the whole. Which means that when I say “The Illusion is that we need something we are not” what I am saying is true.
The following equation may clarify:
The Illusion (part of the whole) = Me + Something
This means that:
The Opposite of The Illusion = Me
Which leads us to the actual equation I was trying to get at in the beginning:
The Whole = The Illusion + The Opposite of The Illusion
This is all very confusing and I may elaborate later. Basically what I have discovered is that I am simultaneously whole and lacking fullness, but the space that is empty is also full and therefore I am always “Whole”.
Ask me questions.
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